its 4 pm

It’s 4 PM

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It’s 4 PM
Can you still feel him breathing?
That unfamiliar noise from the hospital bedroom
It’s not a beep this time, it’s long and flat
Like a sine wave

And suddenly, a silence
Your ears deafened
And suddenly, you are weightless
A moment feels like a thousand years away
No matter how close you are to his hands, to his bed
You can never reach him again

He’s gone forever

It’s 4 PM
Ugh… my cousin is playing that shitty song of her phone again
Hey, aren’t we suppose to take a moment of silence now?
Our grandpa’s just died
She can’t help not to care
Her date is in about 5 minutes, “He’s late.”

Dear Lord, thank You for picking my grandpa home
I don’t know what’s going on in his mind in his latest hours
But I hope he suffers no more
And please have mercy on us all
For we are such a fucked up beings
Creatures that are too coward to mourn
Creatures that have forgotten how to grieve,
and what’s it like to taste our own tears dripping into our mouth

All we do is just adding more distractions to ignore
until we forgot how it feels like to be alive

its 4 pm cjcamjoeMy Grandpa died today on 4 PM. I couldn’t be at his side when this happened, due to distance and bureaucratic issues. I feel like I need to write something therapeutic. So, I came out with this simple and not so much of a poem. I don’t really care, I just want to write.

Rest in peace, Gong Gong

I love you,

CJ

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